July 2011
53 posts
Always begin with gratitude. This is the wisdom advice that comes to us from many of the world’s indigenous and contemplative teachings. In this spirit, we begin our first blog for The Huffington Post exploring this profoundly transformative spiritual practice, and invite you to join us in taking this powerful awareness and action into your heart and onto your path of deepening spirit in daily life, work, and relationships.
The practice of gratitude antidotes two root sufferings that pervade the human experience. The first can be characterized as a feeling of “insufficiency” — not having enough or not being enough. This fundamental sense of dissatisfaction opens the way to the second kind of suffering — being incessantly busy trying to get more or be more in order to somehow fill this inner feeling of discontentment and lack. Living with an inner attitude of scarcity and poverty-consciousness also makes us prey to being manipulated by external forces that tell us that we will find happiness and satisfaction — finally — if we only acquire or consume this product or that, or once we go to this place or take some other action “out there.” Our preoccupation with seeking inner satisfaction from external sources keeps us on a never-ending merry-go-round of pursuits and distractions, always waiting for and expecting happiness to come to us from the outside. After the temporary pleasure or sense of accomplishment dissipates and wears off — as it always most certainly will — we find ourselves once again pursuing the next “fix.”
The miracle of the practice of gratitude is that it reverses this pattern of looking outwardly for satisfaction, and instantly puts us in touch with all the many gifts and blessings already present in our life. We shift from spinning in perpetual motion on the wheel of seeking happiness from the outside-in to generating happiness from the inside-out. This practice is easy to do and can be done anywhere and any time. The main thing is just to begin to weave this practice more and more often, and more and more regularly, into your life.
There has been much discussion about the value of the “creative pause” – a state described as “the shift from being fully engaged in a creative activity to being passively engaged, or the shift to being disengaged altogether.” This phenomenon is the seed of the break-through “a-ha!” moments that people so frequently report having in the shower. In these moments, you are completely isolated, and your mind is able to wander and churn big questions without interruption.
However, despite the incredible power and potential of sacred spaces, they are quickly becoming extinct. We are depriving ourselves of every opportunity for disconnection. And our imaginations suffer the consequences.
Why do we crave distraction over downtime?
Why do we give up our sacred space so easily? Because space is scary. During these temporary voids of distraction, our minds return to the uncertainty and fears that plague all of us. To escape this chasm of self-doubt and unanswered questions, you tune into all of the activity and data for reassurance.
June 2011
31 posts
Regained a part of me back: Cooking.
Haven’t really done it for a very long time. Usually got lazy and put whatever was easy and fast together. Missed chopping vegetables, mixing sauces, sniffing the natural aromas. Missed the magic when everything combines together giving birth to the ultimate experience derived from your creation.
Nothing like enjoying a homecook meal. I missed that.
Hmm I must start a food affair soon <3
Mixing margarine with sugar
Eggs + vanilla + water. Later add flour + baking soda + baking powder + pinch of salt
Time to bake! Teaspoons of dough on baking sheet
First batch, I like to flip the cookies when they’re out so the top get slightly toasted as well.
Mix it up a bit by adding chocolate chips on a batch + sprinkling sugar powder on top. Another batch made by sandwiching manjar blanco in between.
Hmm sweet delight!
I never thought that taking a break would be so damn hard.
I’m having a hard time doing nothing and just relaxing. I think I’ve been conditioned to always do something in order to be productive and make use of my time. Otherwise, it’ll be time just wasted. Whatever I did had to fulfill a purpose, to get things done and going. Just sitting by a cafe reading seems like being lazy.
So now, for the first time in my life, I have a summer off. No running behind appointments, cooking classes, jewellery making, swimming lessons, flower arrangements, endless color palette mixing in interior design, buying canvas and oil paints for 4 hr painting classes, photography lessons late at night, no more breathing exercises from theatre classes, browsing for images in internship, waking up early for salsa lessons with my mom. It feels so empty, challenging. Perhaps I’m too used to getting things done, in having to-do lists and crossing them out, an overall schedule to follow.
I feel somewhat frustrating at myself for not being able to relax, for being worried over getting a job (yet not working at all). There’s this ongoing dilemma between me wanting desperately to take this summer off, to relax and do all the things I want with my subconscious nagging me to get a job. The one where it’s driven by expectations, fear of failure and disappointment. That part of me that is well too good at stressing, getting things done, being disciplined (somewhat), the responsible and example to follow, the one “good” reputation…
Reconnecting with myself seems harder than I originally planned. Too much noise, too much distraction around. Or perhaps once again I’m trying to do way too much at once. Time is precious, enjoy it and relax. Take it easy. Yes, I can.
We all have lousy habits. Things we’d like to do, or know we should, but just don’t seem to happen: exercise, diet, productivity or flossing longer than a week after the visit to the dentist.In that sense, I’m like most people - still a work in progress.
But, unlike most people, I’ve had on ongoing obsession with figuring out how to fix those lousy habits. I’ve spent thousands of hours being an experimental guinea pig, uncovering surprising findings, such as:
- Implementing a daily exercise plan is easier than exercising 3 times per week
- Changing 10 meals will change 90% of your eating habits
- Learning a new skill or language can be accomplished with 5 minutes a day
1. Set a conditioning period.
- Action Step: Focus on a 30-day conditioning period.
2. Make the habit every day.
- Action Step: Make the habit daily.
3. Strategically replace your biggest lost needs.
- Action Step: If you’re giving something up, focus on replacing the most common 80-90% of that habit.
4. Begin with the start in mind.
- Action Step: Focus on making the first 5-15 minutes of your habit your “must” during the first 30 days.
Results from a Habit-Obsessed Life After repeating this process dozens of times, the intuition is that it would turn you into a robot. You’d be so obsessed with performing your habits, that you wouldn’t have space for spontaneity or fun.
But my experience actually taught me the opposite - knowing how to change your habits gives you freedom. Like the discipline of the pianist frees him to play any song, the initial ability gives new flexibility.
Knowing how to create habits lets you put your energies into other pursuits. I’d rather put my time into figuring out how to write better, than worry about meeting my quota, or how to be stronger than guilt myself for missing the gym.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my experimental odyssey, it is that we’re all governed by habits. The difference is whether you control your habits, or whether they control you.
Day #02 - Holding a conversation with a random stranger rather than seeing them as a potential threat.
Not that I usually see everyone as potential threats or anything but many times, when approached by a stranger (specially when it’s a male), I would rather keep interactions cold and short. Let’s just say experiences from the past where people try hitting on me has a lot to do for how I respond now. So instead of giving people the wrong impression, I keep interactions short (but never rude though, there’s no reason to be rude to anyone).
But there are they days that I just go with the flow and engage in an actual conversation. It’s nice to be let your guard down for a bit, what’s the point of being so defensive?
Walking back from a reflective day by the lake shore (had an euphoric revelation), this stranger approaches me to ask for direction, I listened but wasn’t sure so told him I’m not familiar. So when I was ready to head off he kept asking if I was from around, where was I from…so conversation unraveled. It was nice, to not just run off for once. People are so different and each has their own perspective of life. We can learn so much from each other, all we have to do is just listen and open our hearts.
Open to new possibilities, adventures, a new of seeing…just embrace what comes along.
The bottom of the ocean :)
